Is Britain’s ‘most miserable place’ about to become part of London?

Dear Londoners — welcome to another Monday news briefing. After a weekend basking in the afterglow of Valentine’s Day, we weren't quite ready to let go of the romantic vibes just yet, which is why today's briefing is about the UK's capital of love: Slough.

The much-maligned town is discussing plans tonight that might see it become part of London, which would make Slough the newest part of the massively diverse mix of communities and districts that make up the capital. We like to think we captured a small slice of that range in our articles last week, from a crisis at one of London’s busiest A&Es to a 100-year-old orchestra that suddenly disappeared and an inside look at the isolationist nunnery in the heart of London. 

To keep doing that work we need our readers to back us though. We don’t rely on never-ending ad banners, churn clickbait news stories or billionaire backers. If you want to support our fight to revive a more bottom-up, deeply reported type of media, then please consider signing up as a paying member for just £8 a month. 

Now, on with your briefing.

Big story: Slough is considering officially becoming part of London

Topline: Tonight, Slough Borough Council is discussing potential proposals for the town, which has been voted the UK’s most miserable place to live, to officially become part of Greater London.

Why is this happening?: The government’s current devolution plans are pushing smaller local authorities to merge with neighbours in an effort to increase efficiency and reduce financial liabilities. The UK currently has a messy patchwork of unitary authorities, borough councils, county councils and metropolitan district councils and the proposals are aimed at creating a simpler system. But any actual changes are in the hands of Slough Borough Council itself (and the neighbours it may try to merge with). But if it were to go forward, we could eventually see Slough becoming part of the Greater London Authority, and therefore an official part of the capital, making true an idea so outlandish that just last year it was a prank April Fool’s Day headline in The Londonist. 

Dear God, why?: Despite undergoing years of redevelopment costing some £400m, Slough still lives in the shadow of its reputation as the archetypal grey, brutalist commuter town that made the perfect bleak backdrop for The Office. Maybe more concerning for potential partners, though, is less the council’s cultural history, but its financial one. Slough Borough Council has been overseen by government-appointed commissioners since 2021 after severe financial “mismanagement” and a “dysfunctional culture” were identified at the effectively-bankrupt council.

How did it come to this?: Slough was originally left out of the official boundary of Greater London when it was first defined in 1965 due to its history as an independent town predating London’s massive Edwardian and post-war growth spurt. There’s a great potted history on that decision here.

Is there no alternative?: As it happens, we aren’t the only ones in danger of being saddled with Slough. Plans to become part of Greater London are just one of several proposals being discussed at the meeting, including potential mergers with other Berkshire local authorities or West London councils. Whatever the decision, Slough has stressed that they don’t want to become “peripheral” in any new authority they join, which feels somewhat optimistic on their part.

It’s also unlikely anything will happen on this front soon. As the government commissioners overseeing the council stressed, Slough’s leadership has to “continue to focus its energy” on its financial recovery and even the council itself has said it is only discussing potential ideas to “shape the council’s discussions” with potential partners rather than committing to “specific devolution and reorganisation proposals”. Alternatively, there is always the poet John Betjeman's plan for the town: “Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!”

Your news briefing

🍴 The Londoner can exclusively reveal that Southwark Council tried to bury a report it commissioned that criticised its implementation of a free school meals programme. Despite paying £60,000 to an independent consultancy to produce the report, the council only published its findings thanks to a Freedom of Information request, and attached a note saying it felt it contained “factual inaccuracies”, “inadequate context” and “uses some inappropriate language and tone”. A council spokesperson added that the report showed “a limited understanding of the complexities of the delivery of the free school meals programme” but that it would use “some recommendations” from it to “help guide” the programme going forward. Thanks to the reader who got in touch to highlight this one.

🚒 This weekend Londoners were treated to infernal images of Marylebone as the luxury hotel, Chiltern Firehouse — ironically a former Victorian fire station — caught ablaze. About 100 people needed to be evacuated, but, luckily, the only injuries appear to have been done to the streaming giant Netflix, which had to scramble to move its BAFTA party at the last minute.

🚨 Cleaning and catering staff at 10 Downing Street have decided to go on a month-long strike to protest poor pay and conditions, The Guardian reports. Officials from the PCS union have also said they want to end the use of outsourcing contracts for staff — often used by public authorities to undercut the higher pay and conditions received by ‘in house’ staff — at the Prime Minister’s official residence. It’s not a great story for the Prime Minister given his party promised in 2022 to deliver the “biggest wave of insourcing for a generation”.

Got a story for us to look into? Please get in touch at editor@the-londoner.co.uk.

In case you missed it: Last week, Miles Ellingham managed to talk his way into Tyburn Convent, where he spent the day with a hidden, cloistered community of nuns. Tyburn’s nuns are only allowed to leave the sanctity of their enclosure to vote and access urgent medical care. Thanks to the readers who spotted the glaring spelling error in the email edition of the piece that we've now addressed in the online version here. 

From dawn till dusk 

We all know London can be unbearably huge. So every week we’ll take you through an ideal day across the city using our little black book of the best London venues. We hope it’ll be equal parts glitz to spit and Tube-dust.

Breakfast: If you’re looking for something crunchy in the morning, try the empanadas at Paula’s Bakery in Elephant and Castle. The area has a really impressive cluster of Latin American restaurants, many of which have, thankfully, managed to stay put amid the earth shaking developments currently sweeping the neighbourhood. Mostly they get busy around lunchtime, but Paula’s is great for a quick stop on the way to work. 

Lunch: This only applies to Fridays, and tends to sell out by 2pm. However, if you’re lucky enough to time it right you might just be in for a bowl of the best soup ever produced by mortal human hands. We’re talking about the lobster soup at New Tings Grill and Bar on Acre Lane in Brixton. Everything about the balance of flavours is perfect.

Drinks: Staying in Brixton, The Marquis of Lorne is well worth a visit. It’s a great, quiet pub, cash only, with some beautiful tiling on its exterior. The interior is pretty standard pubcore, but the pints are reasonably cheap and it’s a great place to drink and chat, as opposed to drinking and being harassed by people in gilets.

Dinner: If you’re in Northwest London and looking for some tasty, reasonably priced, up-market Italian food, try Anima e Cuore on Kentish Town Road. The restaurant doubles as a deli and also serves their own homemade ice cream. However, it’s the dinner menu that makes them shine — and it’s BYOB, which should save you a lot of money. Try the truffle pasta. 

Later: Here’s one for those times you’ve found yourself (like us) stuck in Central London after 11pm, confronted by the harsh reality of everything suddenly being shut, wandering around in the cold looking for somewhere to get a drink, possibly muttering a psalm under your breath. An entertaining once per year option can be found at the top floor of the Hippodrome casino in Piccadilly. There you can drink pints (about £7), and watch the various gamblers ebbing and flowing.

Our favourite reads

Bad Times: Travels with Tariq Ali — Andy Beckett, The London Review of Books

In the latest edition of the LRB, Andy Beckett reviews Tariq Ali’s memoir You Can’t Please All, which covers Ali’s life from 1980-2024. The review is masterfully written and gives you fascinating insight into one of the most prolific left-wing figures of the past fifty years, who spent much of that time living in the capital.

Asbestos: a corporate coverup, a public health catastrophe — Charlotte Bailey, Prospect Magazine

Charlotte Bailey attempts to pull back the curtain on why thousands of people per year continue to die from exposure to the asbestos fibres in their houses, offices and schools. One of these people was her father — who, one day, returned from swimming to find his oxygen levels plummeting. Large parts of this tale take place in London, where many of the city’s ageing buildings are riddled with dangerous asbestos.

To Do List

📷 If you happen to be in Soho tomorrow between 6:30pm - 7:30pm, you can stop off at the Photographer’s Gallery and listen to South Korean artist, Min Kim, speak about her work with Flock Together, a bird watching group for people of colour. She’ll be discussing “how this community group has been creating access points to nature in the city while also challenging traditional definitions of nature through creativity”.

🎶 Are you a fan of experimental vocalists and uncomfortable chairs? If so, get a ticket to see Saadet Türköz and Jena Jang perform at Cafe Oto this Friday. Türköz was born in Istanbul but her parents were Kazakh refugees, so she carries the sounds of central Asia with her in her work. Jang is from South Korea and currently based in Prague, Czechia. Her music explores “trauma healing and liberation from mental anguish”.